Finding My Tribe In Memphis, TN
GUEST BLOGGER POST
I moved to Memphis in 1999. It was the year we listened to messages on the landline answering machine, we read actual ‘paper’ newspapers, we took pictures with disposable cameras, and we got all our fashion advice from magazines. Oh yeah, there was also everyone’s fear of Y2K – even though I still have no idea what that really meant. I was 29 years old. I had just moved to Memphis without knowing anyone but my fiancé and his grandmother who both lived in Memphis. I had just re-enrolled in college. And I was skinny.
Life was perfect.
Or so I thought.
The reality, however, was that I was about to embark upon a season in my life defined by being a wife, tackling college as an ‘adult student’ (compared to the traditional student who was 20), unexpectedly becoming a mom, and forging a career in higher education all with no family within a 700 radius and no friends inside a three-hour window. I thought being a wife would fulfill me, but I quickly discovered the challenges couples have with opposite interests and opposite work schedules. Even with moments of joy and laughter, life for this Texas girl was lonely. Every day was the same: awaken at 5:30am before my son wakes, shower, get ready for work, get him ready for daycare, be at daycare by 7:00am, in traffic ‘til 7:45am, work by 8:00am, work ‘til 5:00pm, run out the door to try and catch traffic when it was ‘light’, get to daycare before they closed at 6:00pm otherwise get a $10.00 fine for every 5 minutes late, home by 6:30pm, cook dinner for myself, my son and an absent dad, and then entertain my toddler until it was bedtime. Every day. Alone.
Wow! Reading that back to myself, that’s really depressing. Don’t worry… the story picks up here. 😊
I think for so many women, my story isn’t all that special. New girl moves to new city. Gets married. Has a family. Husband and wife work their tails off to live the ‘dream life’. Wife discovers there’s more to her than being a wife, mother and employee. That’s really my story. And it was around the age of 37 when I purposely decided to find other women who had their own story – who I could relate to, talk to, and gain inspiration from. So, for my 38th birthday, I planned my first Ladies Night Out. I asked my best friend from ten years prior to drive in from Nashville to celebrate with me. She did – as all great besties would do. I invited four moms from my son’s baseball team. They actually came. I invited one woman who was 15 years my senior who I looked up to at work. She actually came. And, I invited one woman who I met in college and asked her to bring a friend so that we could meet someone new. And, she did! I could not believe it! I invited these women out for dinner, drinks, and girl-talk and they actually made time in their schedules and came!
I will never forget that first Ladies Night Out at the age of 38. I will never forget the feeling I had all evening. I was liked. I was even loved. They get me. And, they have issues too! While I went more than ten years ‘happily married’, raising a son, working in a career that was unexpected and living far from my hometown in Texas, I finally felt like I belonged, like I contributed to a group of people who understood me, challenged me, celebrated my successes with me, and helped me pick myself up when life dealt me unbearable grief and pain. My tribe.
My Sisterhood Tribe, Circa 2013
And ever since that first Ladies Night Out (LNO) in September, 2007, I have hosted and attended some sort of LNO every year. Finding this group of women, which changes from year to year, not only recharges my batteries, but it connects me to women who are simultaneously just like me and at the same time so very different.
My Devoted 2019 Tribe, Virginia Beach
My Tribe, Circa Summer 2019
3 of these ladies I met online through a Facebook group called ‘Winding Path Sisters’
Having ‘a tribe’ reminds me that women from all cultures, all races, all socio-economic backgrounds, all religions, all levels of education can find commonalities, can inspire one another, can help each other personally and professionally, and can gain strength in each other’s stories.
Recently, I discovered another kind of tribe: Memphis Women Rock.
Cool name, right?
Memphis Women Rock (MWR) is essentially a ‘connector’ of women. MWR hosts events for women here in Memphis in an effort to bring together diverse thoughts, races, and cultures so that women can become more unified. And when we are unified as women – nothing can stop us or separate us from doing great things for our community. I can’t help but think that my small effort back in 2007 to bring women together for a night out somehow ‘fed’ this idea of unifying women. Family, relationships, careers – they will all evolve and eventually dissipate over our lifetimes, but the power of women to inspire and to positively change the world around them will never cease.
I love what CEO of MWR, Tamera Sutton, says:
“I may step in the room, meeting, and platform to the naked eye as one, but I have a tribe of women behind me."
So I ask you, my friend…
Do you have a tribe of women behind you?
This Saturday, MWR is hosting Cocktails & Conversations at The Guest House at Graceland. My friend, Brandi Jo Middleton, Mrs. Tennessee International 2019, will be one of four women leading great conversations over cocktails, small food plates, music, and local vendors.
If you haven’t found your ‘tribe’ of powerful women, yet, I want to encourage you to come out this Saturday night, September 7th at 6:00pm to The Guest House. Meet these brilliant, beautiful and fearless women; find out that you are just as fearless, just as beautiful, and just as brilliant as they are!
Don’t wait until your 38 to find your tribe. And if you’re over the age of 38, come find me! LOL I’m no longer the new girl in town. No longer 29. No longer skinny.
But I am part of a tribe of women here in Memphis that makes a difference for others. Memphis Women Rock. See you Saturday!
For more information about tickets, go to https://www.memphiswomenrock.com/cocktails
About the Author and Blogger, Shelley Kemp, SHRM-SCP
O. Shelley Kemp is a kingdom-chaser, wife, mom, maximizer, writer and soon-to-be-transformation coach residing in Bartlett, TN. While she currently works as the Human Resource Manager for the Memphis Grizzlies, she is also the creator and author of The PIVOT Project, a faith-based resource for women, scheduled for publishing in 2020. Although recognized in 2012 for her writing of children’s books featuring her son’s experience growing up in a multi-racial family, Shelley is transitioning her gift of writing to providing resources for young women as young as 12 up to women going into their 50’s and 60’s who need restoration and transformation using a faith-based foundation.
